What I'm learning

I am learning that
HE is in THIS.
where ever I am. He is there too.
He  not just in the beauty.
He is here in this mess. with me.
I have this mindset that he is too holy to really be in any of my messes.
But no.
He desire me. right here and right now.
He desires relationship with me in every season. every mess. every beauty. every day. every moment.
He desire my heart above all. Not my actions. not what I can give Him. He wants my heart. all of it.
He is pursuing my heart all the time.
I am learning that He desires my praise and adoration, my seeking Him even in the midst of my failings, pain, and regret. And I have found that I know Him best when life hurts the most.
I am learning that he loves me so much more than I could ever imagine or fathom.
And He wants to take my ashes and turn them into beauty. And in the midst of my waiting He wants to bring such joy and fulfillment- in Him.
I am learning, not just in my head but in my heart, that He is good. to me. not just when life is good but when it is hard and bad.
He is always faithful.

61 "The Spirit of the Sovereign LORD is on me,
    because the Lord has anointed me
    to proclaim good news to the poor.
He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted,
    to proclaim freedom for the captives
    and release from darkness for the prisoners,
to proclaim the year of the LORD'S favor
    and the day of vengeance of our God,
to comfort all who mourn,
    and provide for those who grieve in Zion—
to bestow on them a crown of beauty
    instead of ashes,
the oil of joy
    instead of mourning,
and a garment of praise
    instead of a spirit of despair.

They will be called oaks of righteousness,
    a planting of the Lord
    for the display of his splendor.

Isaiah 61:1-3

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